Colours Green and Black

Founded 1947

Affiliated to C. C. C.

Tour Diary 2001

	Friday 25th May 2001 It was happening. Most of us were unaware of it at the time, but happening it was. In keeping with strict factual accuracy one would have to say that the "it" to which we refer may actually have "happened" on the Saturday. We don't know; the perpetrators don't know - what we do know was that it was going to catch up with us and then "it" would hit the fan!   Saturday 26th May 2001 Morning: Ah, those far off innocent days before we fell into the pit of hell! Cap'n Hook had kindly offered me a lift down to the and of his relatives, probably because I was the only member of the team who would be likely to bore his daughter (Orla) to sleep way before we reached Worcester. Naturally we found the traffic on the M25 - it would be a strange old tour journey if we were to find clear roads all the way. From what little I had bothered to discover about the plans for the weekend (if I'm unable to drive to places, all I feel I need to know is where I need to be and at what time - why clutter my pretty little head with more?) Cap and family were to be staying with the relatives, the rest of us were taking over a boarding house/B&B; there were to be two games played - Saturday afternoon against West Malvern and Monday afternoon against Worcester Nomads. Sunday was to be a day of rest (arf!). Naturally we were all going to get to the B&B by 1pm and leave for West Malvern shortly afterward. I sat back in the car seat, relaxed and put Orla to sleep by describing the theory of web-page layout. ZZZzzzzzzzzz... Afternoon: And we did arrive about on time. And lo! there on the pavement were our good friends and colleagues Whippet, Smudger and Danny (kotw) holding all their worldly goods and not looking anywhere near as sheepish as they might have done. For these three were not to be staying with us that evening - they had been "asked" to find alternative accommodation after having perhaps over-indulged in the fleshpots provided by deepest darkest Worcester. (No, I'm not going to tell you why they were thrown out! Those who went know; those who didn't soon will, and the rest of you will just have to guess!!) So, we had the fun of watching Q (who, as organiser of the party was deemed fair game) get a severe nagging from the landlady, before we could leap into the cars and head out for Wild West Malvern. Yee Haw! Remarkably for an Octopus team, and despite the (ummmmm) unexpected hold-up at the B&B we were early for our game! Due to start at 2:30, I would draw your attention to the clock on the picture below (deliberately left in!) - we were started within two minutes of the picture being taken! (Back) Tractor Boy, Cat, Cap'n Hook, Q, Whippet (aka "The Boy Chunder"), Shakey, Danny (kotw) (Front) Ferret, Smudger, Norm(NORM!), Uncle Fester Want the game report? Try here - but some bullet points of the game (in no particular order):- • Uncle Fester scores 42 runs on his 42nd birthday. Apparently he also scored 21 runs on his 21st birthday. We await his 63rd with bated breath! • Shakey chasing a ball to third man. His attempted dive to save the boundary has the effect of embedding the ball deeper into the nettles than it would otherwise have gone! • Whippet (the Boy Chunder) diving over the ball on the last delivery of the day. I know it was a guaranteed draw at that point, but really!!! • Young Nathan Newport, arriving at the ground and declaring "I've played here before and dash it I don't think it's particularly good" THIS MAY NOT BE EXACTLY WHAT HE SAID! • Q removing his pads as number 9 wasn't going to bat before the declaration. He finally batted at number 11! • Tea. MMMMmmmmm..... (Wish I'd eaten more of it now!) • Fielding in the marshy end (that's my excuse for the mis-field I got fined for!) • Whippet (the Boy Chunder) and Danny (kotw) getting egged on as they went for their own personal run-battle. • Whippet (the Boy Chunder) and Danny (kotw) refusing to acknowledge that as they tied they BOTH had to complete their forfeits! • The ground, set at the bottom of the "Lord of the Manor's" garden. Must be nice to have that kind of money! Evening: Sadly we battled on into drinking time, but we still managed to adjourn to the (comparatively) local for a couple of pints with the oppos. The completely non-traditional presentation of the Octopus shirt to the opposing captain. Quite what they are to do with this item remains a mystery to us all, but who knows? if we ever journey that way again we may find the groundsman has used it to brighten up his scarecrow! And yes, Cap'n Hook IS wearing a QPR away shirt! And Whippet is awarded the prize of a half-yard of ale. Why? Can't remember at this point... See the bulb on the left? That's where most of the beer is. When the air hits that bit, you suddenly get a release of beer - and the unwary get splashed. Perhaps that explains why Whippet's shirt appeared to be multi-coloured the next day!   And we head back to the B&B; a quick shower and it's off to the town for a few swift beers and a curry on the way home. Most of us in bed by 1-ish (although Cap'n Hook had a bit more of a walk back than the rest of us!); Whippet and Smudger sharing a bed.... but that's another story. Sunday 27th May 2001 Morning (Early) Well, most of us got down to breakfast at a reasonable time. Q, Uncle Fester and I went off for the Uncle F tour of Worcester, ending up in the cathedral having gone via Duncan Fearnley's little house (no longer in existence), the Scout Hall where Uncle F learned to blow his on trumpet, down the canal banks and also past the funeral parlour where a young Unc (Nephew F?) used to live (No, really. You think I'm just making a joke about his nickname, don't you?) By the time we returned, Danny (kotw) and Smudger had left - this was expected - and we were ready for the start of our team-building exercises. Morning (late) to Afternoon (early). Bandit country! A trip to the (reasonably) local pitch and putt (we are after all a fine athletic sporting team - we've got to keep in trim even on our days off!) showed that Tractor Boy, while not quite whupping all-comers, certainly showing that it would be best not to bet with him on this sort of game. Thanks to Uncle F for his advice on the last hole ("You can really hit it on this one") as my ball disappears off into the trees. Also thanks to him for finding it (or similar!). I enjoyed Whippet's chip over the net into the driving range (and his run to retrieve the ball!) and Nathan's even more impressive "lost ball in the water while not actually playing a stroke"! Plus it was interesting to see who got wound up by the incredibly slow play of the foursome ahead of us on the second round. Those advising calm at the beginning of the round were the least calm come the end of it! Afternoon to.... who knows when! Well, we'd been reasonably good the previous night! After the "golf" it was back to the B&B, off to the Postal Order (pub in an old Post Office) for some food and to form up for the rest of the night. Determined as we were to see some of the Div 2 play off final (just something to do) we moved on to what will always be known to us as "What was the name of that pub... you know THAT one" where we drank, sulked, played the "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" quiz machine and left as the locals launched into a half-hour football chant style rant (for me, the low-point was the traditional British Hooligan's anthem - "No Surrender to the IRA"!!) This led us to the high/low (delete as preferable) point of the evening - the Appletree. Lots of cider & perry, not much bitter or lager. Club rules were to drink zombie juice while sprawling in the sofas and easy chairs in the basement, surrounded by posters of Tank Girl! Add to this the best of the Jam on the sound system and we had a perfectly surreal moment. Another pub, play dodge the groups of young drunken men (not us!), and another (Hendrix copyist gee-tar hero playing) another curry in the same place as the night before and roll home to bed by... I dunno, sometime. I haven't attempted to work out who was with us at which pub; who left us where or joined up with us when 'cos it doesn't really matter. We went out for a good time, and I hope everyone had one - I think I did! Monday 28th May 2001 ...and we were all up bright and early the next morning, with a song on our lips and joy in our hearts. Something like that anyway! We'll pass lightly over the arguments about the bill (still a legacy from our friends fun filled frolicsome Friday) and move on to the ground of Worcester Nomads. All through the weekend I kept returning to the theme that a team called "Nomads" shouldn't have their own ground, and certainly not the one which confronted us that fine bright Monday morning! I'll admit it actually looks better in real life on a sunny bank holiday morning - but then I didn't take the photo! Plus the nets next door and the ground itself really made for a great setting for cricket. We netted (a bit), we showed ourselves up with the catching cradle, we watched some of the Lads v Dads game that Cap'n Hook was appearing in, we disappeared off for a (non-alcoholic) pint, some of us joined in the pre-game barbie, our start guest (PJ Newport Esq) appeared, and for the second time in a weekend we got underway slightly early! Chris seems surprised to discover a large amount of blue stuff over his head. I was surprised to find the picture on my camera - so I suppose that makes us even?   Jamie watches as the Worcester Nomads colts squad gives a formation demonstration of advanced catching cradle techniques (including ending up with the ball in your hands) You lot don't realise how hard the lot of the caption writer here is! There are SO many things that could be said, but being the nice guy I am I usually end up not saying them! Whatta guy! (Back) Tractor Boy, Whippet (the Boy Chunder, capt.) Cat, PJ Newport, Cap'n Hook, Q, Uncle Fester (Front) Ferret, Norm(NORM!), Shakey, N Newport Again, if you want to read the match report try here, and I'll just post a few memories again! • In the morning game, one of the Dads was hit by the ball as he completed his run - he kicked the ball away and turned for another; good to see the "Spirit of the Game" is alive and well (he didn't really take it, honest!) • Whippet, the Boy Chunder's face as the ball disappears for another six • The Worcester Nomads captain Mr I. Jinks leaning into the most lovely cover drive! • If it wasn't impolite to laugh at people's names, I'd say the Worcester Nomads captain Mr I. Jinks! (Well, it amused me, anyway!) • The wellies and disinfectant required to get the ball out of the field next door. Again, Foot & Mouth is nothing to laugh at, but a cricket ball is made of organic materials and it seemed odd to me to take all the precautions for peoples feet (in shoes they'd never walk anywhere in) and then just throw the ball back! Mind you, I've stopped playing catch with Spot, our pet cow! • Shakey's face as he stopped the first ball of Phil Newport's spell. Hope he's got full use of the hand back by now! • Norm flinging his pads after getting out! • Phil Newport and Tractor Boy batting together. • Me flinging my pads (and anything else handy) after getting out • Cap'n Hook's shin after attempting a slip catch with his legs Well, that about wraps it up. I haven't really mentioned any friends or family who toured with us - well they never mention me on their web-sites - and there are probably more stories out there that should be included - please let me know! I went back with Cat (and Tractor Boy, and the Boy Chunder!) - time to lean back, kick in the afterburners and crooooze home!

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